I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
