They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
