He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
