I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
