I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
