probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
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you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
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I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
50% drunk capacity currently
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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