you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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