My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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