im drinking this country out of the recession.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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