this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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