We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just forgot I was standing up.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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