There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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