just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
