Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
