i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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