woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
