I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
