would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
This is the high leading the old right now
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
