So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize