You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
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