haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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