Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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