whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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