i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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