Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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