Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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