I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
