Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
