what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
