4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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