hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
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