Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
