He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize