Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
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I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
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Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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