what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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