can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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