i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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