i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
