would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
