Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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