My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
