so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
