It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize