dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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