dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
