Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
