i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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