I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
