I wannas sexs uuuuu
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
