Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
