I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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