yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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