Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
