it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I don't deserve a penis
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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