is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
