I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
