chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize