is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Bring me that man meat
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
