WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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