What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
ugly people sure do ruin things
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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