I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize