Your face is a jimmy john
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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