i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
