I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
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I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
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I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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