defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
