Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
