your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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