I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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